We live in a world that demands constant movement, and the feeling of “stopping” is almost always mistaken for failure, when in fact it can be a form of preparation. In my last column, I spoke about stagnation and how silence and pausing can sometimes be the best antidotes for moments of doubt or uncertainty. Stagnation is, indeed, a matter of public interest these days; however, not everything is as it seems.
“You’re like a spider,” my mother would say, frustrated by my delay when she asked me to pick vegetables from the garden. She didn’t know that those moments were magical to me. It wasn’t a lack of will or laziness. I moved slowly because a sense of well-being washed over me as I walked through the garden beds. She kept everything so clean and beautiful. As a young girl, I felt like I was entering an enchanted forest.
“It’s like you have spider fingers,” my mother would say again as I washed the dishes without haste. Once more, it wasn’t laziness or ill will; it was the care taken to spot some imperceptible speck of dirt. To this day, I remain just as cautious with my dishes.
Nostalgia is good for the soul and the heart. Remembering these popular expressions — classics of Brazilian folklore — makes me realize today that they were just a type of affectionate “nudge.”
But why was the spider the reference? In the first illustration, let us remember that the spider moves with caution, testing the ground with its legs or remaining motionless for long periods waiting for its prey. In the second, because its legs are so thin, the spider seems to touch things with a certain lightness and gentleness.
Another illustration, shared by my brother Jair, is the one I find most impactful: if you destroy a spider’s web ten times, she will begin to rebuild it ten times, without complaining about “lost time” or “lack of inspiration.” And what do we learn from this?
She doesn’t judge herself for having to start over. She doesn’t go into an existential crisis because the previous web is gone. She simply returns to the center and begins the first thread. It is pure Mindfulness: total focus on the present action, without the weight of the past.
Often, we mistake the spider’s silence for laziness or a lack of direction. But she knows that the web works for her while she rests. Being stagnant is sometimes just being at the center of your own web, feeling the world’s vibrations before taking the next step.
How many times have our dreams been destroyed or our hopes frustrated? How many doors have been closed and how many goals left unreached due to circumstances beyond our control? Stopping and re-evaluating is perhaps the most relevant step. Perhaps you need to start over. Just like the spider: 10 times, 100 times. Perhaps without haste, but with firm and strategic steps.
After all, the spider’s strength doesn’t lie in the destroyed web, but in the unwavering ability to remain at the center of herself. Starting over isn’t a sign of weakness or wasted time; it’s proof that your essence remains intact, ready to cast the next thread.
If the world dares to tear down your structure today, don’t waste energy mourning what is gone. Return to the silence, take a deep breath, and weave once more!
